I recently started a new job as a barista in a local coffee shop. New faces, new work, and new coworkers. The first couple of days are filled with learning and chatting and a lot of questions being asked about each other during the lulls of the day.
“What’s your major? What do you want to do when you graduate? Who do you want to be?” They ask.
It’s always interesting to explain to people that although my major is in English Editing Writing and Media, I don’t necessarily want to become a journalist or a publisher. It’s always a little bit nerve-racking to tell them that I want to pursue Christian ministry and write Christian books. Every time I get asked the question of what I do outside of work and what I do for fun, I get nervous to tell them that I love the local Church and reading my bible; that I play guitar for praise music, that my small business is Christian apparel and stickers- that my whole life revolves around the person of Jesus Christ.
I get nervous because I don’t want them to reject me. I don’t want to make them uncomfortable because of the reputation of Christianity in the United States as being a religion that is oppressive and archaic.
“But get to know me”, I always say. “Maybe I might surprise you.”
Ever since I started this new job, the biggest thought in my mind has been “what will I say when they ask me why I believe in Jesus?”
I’ve been thinking about it all night and all day, and as I think about the answer, I find myself falling in love with Jesus more and more.
So, why Jesus?
Here is what I think I’d tell them:
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love with someone too good for you, someone you don’t deserve, and that person, by miracle, happens to love you too? Have you ever been loved by someone you don’t deserve, so well, that it’s almost too good to be true? Because I am. I met someone who is better than I could ever be, who loves me so much that he would die for me- more than a bullet, more than a spur-of-the-moment heroic decision. Someone who knew he would have to die for me but came into relationship with me anyways. I met someone who from his own supply, offered to pay all of my debts, no strings attached, all I had to do was call out to him.
I met someone kind and lovely, who is humble yet powerful; someone with the kindest heart I’ve ever known. I met someone who cares for others more than himself, someone who is willing to put it all on the line for the least of us.
He is compelling in every single way. I want to get to know him more every day, spend every second with him. I want to read what he has written and write about him and sing about him and tell everyone about him. I want the world to know how beautiful this man is.
Except he isn’t just a man. He is so powerful that the world listens to him- all he has to do is say the word. This man has done so many miraculous things that the world can’t contain the number of books it would take to write them all down.
He is a man who cannot be exaggerated.
He is beautiful and wonderful in every way. Powerful and mighty. He is just and kind, and despite everything that I’ve ever done, he chose to give me what belongs to him- a title to the throne which he is prince of. He is fully man, but here’s the thing- he is also fully God. He is above all things, yet chose to give me a new life.
I wake up every day with purpose because of him. I no longer feel the pit of emptiness in my chest when I wake up in the morning, but instead, I feel whole and full and abounding with joy. In any situation, the highest height or the lowest depth, he sees me. I can seek him and always find him. He’s given me a purpose and a hope and a reason to live.
It isn’t co-dependent because he doesn’t need me, but he chooses to love me, not because of who I am but who he is. Not only does he have everything I will ever need, but he IS everything I will ever need or ever want or ever dream of.
So I wake up every day, in love with who he is, and grow because he has given me everything that I need to do so. I strive to serve him, to commune with him, to know him; and because of that, I become more like him. In him, I know that I am safe and secure forever. He will never leave or forsake me. I know this because he promised, and he is a man who never breaks his promises.
So there you have it, I am in love with a man named Jesus, and I hope that one day you will experience this feeling too.